So far so good

It's been an exciting year to date.  Our youngest moved out and got her an apartment and a room mate.  She did recently move back in, but I respect that she was determined to at least try for awhile.  Our next to the youngest and her family bought a home here in Beaumont in the Bevil Oaks addition. So proud for them.  Our middle daughter and her husband also bought a home in Lumberton.  It is so pretty too.  The other middle child moved into her Aunts old house after they worked very hard to fix it all up...so pretty and it is affordable for her.  The next daughter is living in Vidor with her significant other and she is working every day to keep her life on track.  The daughter in Houston recently announced she is getting married in the Fall of 2013...so excited for her.  And the eldest daughter came down from Tennessee to visit with two grandchildren I met for the very first time.  What a great time we had.  Mike and I celebrate our 10th Anniversary this year.  Woo hoo!!!  So it has been an exciting year so far.  I am grateful for the many loved ones in my life, it makes life warm and fuzzy.  We adopted two baby kittens this summer and I have been helping my former sister in law with her lawn maintenance business.  It's hard work but rewarding.  I did a bit of charity work and am still staying at home for the most part except when helping Nicki.  The kids are all fine and the grand kids are too so I can't complain and I won't.  I will just say Thank you Lord for all the blessings you have seen fit to bless our family with and may we always be worthy of those blessings.  

Thankful for Second Chances

In a couple of weeks, my daughter from Tennessee is coming down.  She is bringing two grand babes I have never met.  I haven't seen her in 19 years.  She was just a teenager fresh out of high school when I saw her last.  Now, she is a young woman with two children of her own.  Time sure has a way of getting away from us at times, it doesn't seem to ever stop, it just keeps rolling along without mercy.  I was just a kid myself when she was born.  It was a long time ago, but I think back on it now and wonder if it could have turned out differently somehow.  Maybe if I would have been stronger, or more mature, or less afraid, or, or, or...I could go on all day with the what if's, but it won't change the fact that in 37 years of her life I have only spent 1 1/2 years of her life with her.  How she must have felt growing up without her mother to be there to love and nurture her, to wipe away her tears and fears and tuck her in at night. How are we supposed to overcome that?  I find it painful that I still feel like that same sad and confused young woman I was back then.  Only this time I am much older and have missed out on the best years of my child's life.  I often think of how we could have grown up together, two young women trying to struggle to stay alive in a world not yet ready for us.  But in the end, the decision to give her at least a running chance at this life was the best decision I could have made.  At least she had some sense of stability, none of which she would have had with me for awhile.  I missed out, it is true, but I am hoping that the remaining years we have left together will be amazing and I can get to know this daughter that I lost so many years ago.   I am looking forward to the journey we have left, and know that the need to love this child of mine from so long ago is as strong today as it was when she was first born.  But then I have heard that, “Beginnings are usually scary, endings are usually sad, but it's what's in the middle that counts. So when you find yourself at the beginning, just give hope a chance to float up. And it will.” 

Life as we know it

Life as we know it is a little crazy at times, a little hazy at times, a little lazy at times.
Life as we know it is a day jammed with sun, laughter and fun, life on the run.
Life as we know it is warm and it's kind, we go out of our mind, but no one gets left behind.
Life as we know it is safe and secure, oh it's far from pure, but it's prevention not just a cure.
Life as we know it is laughter and song, with a little hurt and wrong, some weakness and lots of strong.
Life as we know it is our faith in one not seen, places we have been, being kind instead of mean.
Yes life as we know it is a multitude of chance, with some change and some  plans, lots of love and romance.
We love and we  play, we fight every day, but we stand beside one another in every way.
Life as we know it, it is who we are, some close, some afar, each a bright shining star.
It's just life as we know it, and we do the best we can, whether woman, child or man, because that's God's plan.

My Grandparents

When I was young, I cherished my grandparents.  I thought the sun rose and set in both sets of my parents parents.  I was lucky I felt, some of my friends didn't have grandparents, they had passed away already, some even before they were born.  I always thought my grandmothers were the greatest, they could cook so good and they were always baking something, cakes, cookies, candy.  My Father's parents were different from my Mother's Parent's.  My mother's parents lived in the city and were more citified, and my Father's parents lived in the country and lived a country life, which I loved.  My dad's parents were grandma and grandpa Richardson and they were very down to earth and lived very simple lives.  They knew alot about nature and growing things.  They raised chickens and ducks and grew beautiful gardens of vegetables and flowers.  They had an outside dog named Tip and an inside dog named Fifi.  I loved those dogs, Tip was one of my best friends growing up, he watched over me like a hawk.  I never knew what it was like not to have my grandparents around, until I was an adult and one by one they left this world for a far better place.  Except one, my mom's mother.  She is now 93 years old and by far the most spirited family Matriarch I have ever known.  She is a wonderful example of human kindness and charity.  She loves life and always has, and life loves her back.  She has 3 children, 12 grandchildren, 15 great-grandchildren and 12 great-great grandchildren.  What a wonderful life she has had.  Some people don't have the privilege of having their grandparents into their teens, and here I am at 54 and still have my grandmother.  Thank you Lord for her wisdom, her kindness, her love, her compassion and her humanity...she has been the most wonderful of examples for my life.

Blessings

Yesterday was Thanksgiving 2011.  It was a wonderful day.  This year has been full of surprises, and some disappointments as well.  But yesterday was all about the good that we have shared, all the many blessings we have received this year and the many years before we honored today.  One of the sweetest blessings I received this year was on Thanksgiving Day itself.  I was able to talk to my daughter in Tennessee for a bit, it was the greatest thing.  I have not seen her in 18 years, she is my first born and I lost her when she was just a couple of years old, and I never saw her again until she was 18.  Then it took another 18 years for me to find her again.  It's a story of lost and found and lost and found again.  She sounded just like me, and everyone says she looks like me, but I think she looks like her dad too.  I have two grand children I have yet to meet and I can't wait to get to meet them.  They are coming down for Christmas, what a wonderful day that will be.  She was born when I was really young, sixteen to be exact, or to be more exact four days before my seventeenth birthday.  We could have grown up together but the fates didn't allow it, choices were made, hard choices and they forever changed our lives.  She is an adult now, and she can make her own choices, so we will see how it all turns out.  A mother never forgets a child, at least this one didn't, no matter the circumstances, the memory of that child will haunt a mother till her death.  But because I know I have a loving Father in heaven, I don't have to wonder anymore, he has made a way for us to be together again, and I am so happy.  That's one blessing I will cherish forever!

My BFF

I have a friend who is like my sidekick.  She keeps my in check, she also makes me laugh, and lifts me up when I am down, calms me down when I am angry, she's all those kewl things a friend should be and more.  She has more money than me, but she doesn't act like it.  She has a bigger truck than me, but she doesn't flaunt it.  She is way smaller than me, but she loves my fluffy self just the same.  I love this friend of mine, because I can be myself around her and never worry that she is judging me.  She never, ever tries to one up me by acting better than me or trying to out do me on anything.  She's just my friend and I love her, and I can always count on her to be there for me.  But not just me, she loves my family too, and she would give anyone the shirt off her back if she needed too.  She probably has I just don't know about it, cause that's how she is.  She doesn't ever brag, in all the time I have known her the only thing I have heard her brag about are her family.  We do that a lot!  I love her and her family and I want to be as good a friend to her as she has always been to me.  So I just want to say thank you my BFF!  For making my life a better one, for always having my back, and for loving me too!  You are the best girl and I hope we grow really old together, cause life without you would not be as happy!  Besides, who else is as crazy as me?

The Flight

When a baby bird leaves the nest, they do just that, they don't come back home on the holidays for a visit, or get together for birthday parties and anniversaries.  No, they just fly away, look for a mate and start their own life sometimes, far away from the parent birds. That's how it is, our children grow up in our shadow, loving us, learning from us, then one day, kazam, they are gone, just like that.  The empty nest syndrome, I dreaded it all my adult life, not wanting to ever deal with the day when my last baby bird flew away.  But it happened and you know what?, I survived it.  I realized how sweet it was going to be not to have to pick up after her anymore, to sit back and watch her grow into her independence and like it.  It's a right of passage most all of us go through.  We can't wait to leave that nest and be on our own.  To fly anywhere we want whenever we want too.  It feels good actually to have so many baby birds out there on their own, spreading their wings and doing their own thing.  And me and daddy bird, well, we are enjoying the always clean house, the less laundry, the dinners for two instead of for eight.  The nights watching what we want to on TV.  Going whenever we want not needing a baby sitter or guardian looking out for the baby birds left at home.  It's a freedom I can't describe, a deep breath released slowly, but more than that it's a feeling of pride.  We fulfilled our purpose, to the best of our ability and we succeeded in molding parts of us that are very much their own persons.  Free at last, free at last...isn't that the old saying.  Well, don't relax to much, because guess what...unlike baby birds...children always seem to find their way back home!  Sooner or later, they will find they need help from mom and dad and so you never lose your children, you just give them what you can and hope for the best.  And always know that they know the way back home when it's time.